How do you remember someone? (updated)

Borrowed from Darlene.  

Aunt Pat on the left with some cousins.

 This is my Aunt Patricia Janell Avants.  I have to say her full name because I share that middle name.  Her name is special to me because my mom gave me her sister's name.

My mom has some interesting stories about growing up with Pat which I don't know that I have the right to share. Just imagine what a sister might say.  I have a sister.  Growing up, we didn't always like each other.  I love her to pieces now.  You know how siblings are: I can mess with my sister, but you better not!  At the end, Mom said she would miss her best friend.  That's ok to miss someone.  I hope Mom misses Pat for a long time because I'm not ready to miss my mom.  They can play catch up later.

I remember a few times visiting her as I was growing up.  She had two sons, my only first cousins.  I remember that she had a big peninsula in the kitchen. At least it seemed big to me when I was little.  She had a shower stall in the bathroom which I thought was cool because my parents' house was different.  She always told us that the secret to her cookies was that she mixed the dough with her feet while sitting on the kitchen counter.  I was never sure about whether or not I should believe that.  She also had a chow dog named Trouble.  And she loved my uncle.

More than these memories from childhood, I have my memories from my adult life.  I moved four hours away from home when I was about 26 so I could attend the seminary.  My aunt and uncle opened their home to me and my fiance every other weekend because I refused to allow Jason to stay in my apartment until we were married. Therefore, when Jason drove up to visit me, he slept on Pat and Marvin's futon in the office while I slept on the couch in the living room.  We did that for six months on weekends before we got married.

It is honestly difficult to think of Pat without thinking of Marvin.  In all their years of marriage, they maybe spent two nights apart.  I think they got married at 16 and 17, or maybe 17 and 18.  They were young and high school sweethearts.  About two years ago, my Uncle Marvin went to be with the Lord.  I told my kids that he moved to Heaven.  Last week, Aunt Pat's earthly body gave up, and her spirit moved to Heaven also.  Those two years were the longest that they have ever been apart.

Over the past week, I've been watching and participating in the facebook conversations about Pat.  I am overwhelmed with the need to clear up a few inaccuracies.

This facebook post is the first and most important thing I need to clear up.  This post was left on my cousin's facebook page by a very sweet, well-meaning person who was just trying to find something right to say in a difficult time for our family.  I really do appreciate sweet people.  However, the truth of the matter needs to be clear.  The only test Aunt Pat passed to get into Heaven was selecting the correct answer on a multiple choice test with two choices: A) Jesus or B)not Jesus.  She picked Jesus.  Otherwise, no one is good enough on his own to get into Heaven.  Romans 3:23 tells us that everyone has sin.  Romans 6:23 says the score for sin is death.  Ephesians 2:8-9 says our good works can't save us.  Nothing good in my aunt's life could get her into Heaven except the choice to have a relationship with Christ.

In order to pick Jesus, Romans 10:9 - 10 says that we must confess with our mouth and believe in our heart that Jesus is Lord.  Matthew 7:21 says we have to follow God's will.  Then, when we are following God's will, we will have abundant life according to John 10:10 and ever lasting life according to John 3:16 and Romans 6:23.  Hold on!  Here is the second thing that I need to clear up: Pat has ever lasting life.  That means that she is not a past tense person!  She still exists.  This means that we do not have to speak of her in the past tense.  I cannot say, "My aunt was a great person."  I can't say, "I loved my aunt."  No!  I can say, "My aunt is and she still is in Christ!"  This is a strange concept to consider because we are conditioned to speak of the earthly dead in the past tense.  Her body is past tense for sure.  Her spirit lives on in eternal life.

This is not good bye forever, but rather this is a, "See you later alligator."

At Grandpa J's house.