The Corn Dog

Some time ago, and I won't say how long, there was a naked corn dog incident at school.  I call it an incident because it was indeed a problem.  Corn dogs should follow the dress code the same as the rest of the school and be held accountable for leaving the classroom or lunchroom where they ought to be.

A substitute was hanging out of the doorway of her classroom for the day as I strolled down the hallway on my conference period.  My moral and ethical obligation dictated that the correct, polite, and friendly response would be to stop and see if she needed help.

"That boy has something under his desk and is making everyone laugh!"

"Gee whiz! Alright.  Tell him to come with me." And so she sent the accused boy out into the hall with me and we headed for the office.

"Hand over whatever it is."

"I don't have anything," he replied as he fidgeted with his pockets.

He didn't know that I'm not allowed to search him, maybe.  I'm not really sure about that.  However, when he turned out his pockets after my asking, there was a de-breaded corn dog. Not only was it a de-breaded corn dog, but it was a de-breaded corn dog with a smiley face on the end.  Controlling my own laughter was very difficult as I realized that during class the student was holding it in his lap and playing with it like a penis.  How do I explain this when I get to the principal? 

"Hand it over, mister," I mustered as best I could with a voice of authority.  And so he did.

The office staff seemed very interested in the entire story when I arrived with the student and corn dog in tow.  As seriously and irate as I could, I relayed the story and insisted that the Mr. Principal handle this instead of Mrs. Vice Principal.

As soon as the student walked off with Mr. Principal, the entire office erupted into laughter.  What else could we do?

Lessons:
1. Corn dogs are not toys.
2. Substitutes need special training.
3. Teachers need acting lessons.

Adventures in Teaching

This became normal attire for teaching with these ladies.
Yes, we are royalty!
Yes, our students thought we were nuts.  

Teaching is worth it when you are remembered
four years later and get a graduation announcement!

I've given up patrolling the gum issue!

To Kill a Mockingbird is one of my favorites.
 I don't know why the students don't love it as much as I do.

Taking notes in this century.
I spent all that time writing it out on the board.
Then the first kid says, "Can I just take a picture?"

And this kid?  He wore it the whole period.
Yes, I let him.  He still participated.  

No, I don't just work Monday through Friday.

I can't believe I actually did this.
I am not an elementary teacher!

Odysseus got lost for ten years because the gods were mad.
The Hebrews wandered for 40 years because God was upset.
I think I'll try not to make the real God upset.  

One time, I actually made these to introduce
The Odyssey to my students.
One time. 

I absolutely loved watching these students devour poetry!  

This is an award winning book,
and I got to share it with my kids
and talk to them about modern day slavery.
I get to do that with literature.  

I let kids write notes on a note card for the test.
This is just evidence of how different
each kid's brain works.
Each card is organized so differently.
My job is to figure out how to reach
each of those kids.  I have nearly 145 this year.