Gripe Session Prayer

I want to share some of a recent prayer experience that I had.  One of the interesting things is that the prayer was about not talking so much.  Blogging is a form of talking or communicating.  However, on this blog, I think I am more careful about what I write and post than I am in general conversation.  I really ought to be careful everywhere.  There is something to be said for really thinking before speaking.  I have said before that my Grandpa J never told all that he knew.  He always had us wondering what was going on with him.  I really want to be more like that except with a few close people.

On December 8, I prayed that God would help me to control my speech.  I really need to find more positive things to say, to find the good in situations.  Tuesday morning I woke up without a voice.  No joke.  No voice for several days.  Zilch.  Wednesday night turned into a sinus infection.  Thursday I went to the doctor who then told me to stay home on Friday too.  God allowed me to get laryngitis and a sinus infection. I don't believe that He causes bad things to happen, but He knew I was about to get sick and used the opportunity to convict me of some things that needed to be fixed.  God is so amazing! First, God allowed my voice to disappear and then He took me out of a context where my conversation sometimes turns negative.

God had been yelling at me for several days.  Yes, I said He was yelling at me.  God can do that without an audible voice, or He could audibly yell if He wants to.  This time, God was trying to tell me that He was indeed in control and to trust Him.  I heard it on the radio, read it on Facebook, and was told by a teacher at school.  Without a voice or the distraction of other people around, I had to face God and listen.

How does all this add up?  Two Scriptures continued to come to my mind.

Psalm 46:10 commands that we, "Cease striving, and know that I am God; I will be exalted among the nations, I will be exalted in the earth."

Also, Matthew 6:26 - 34 gently reminds us to, "Look at the birds of the air, that they do not sow, neither do they reap, nor gather into barns, and yet your heavenly Father feeds them.  Are you not worth much more than they?  And which of you by being anxious can add a single cubit to his life's span?  And why are you anxious about clothing?  Observe how the lilies of the field grow; they do not toil nor do they spin, yet I say to you that even Solomon in all his glory did not clothe himself like one of these.  But if God so arrays the grass of the field, which is alive today and tomorrow is thrown into the furnace, will He not much more do so for you, O men of little faith?  Do not be anxious then, saying, 'What shall we eat?' or 'What shall we drink' or 'With what shall we clothe ourselves?'  For all these things the Gentiles eagerly seek; for your heavenly Father knows that you need all these things.  But seek first His kingdom and His righteousness; and all these things shall be added to you.  Therefore do not be anxious for tomorrow; for tomorrow will care for itself.  Each day has enough trouble of its own."

God has spoken.  There is no denying what I heard.  Now I must respond by trusting Him with my struggles that He may be glorified and exalted in my town on this earth.

Behind the Scenes (of family pictures)

I am so blessed to know a fabulous photographer who has the ability to connect with my kids and capture our family on film - so to speak.  The way Bonnie does photo sessions is awesome and immediately gratifying.  She snaps all kinds of fun shots and then downloads them onto a flash drive for you right away.  You get all the fun stuff and goof ups.  You also get a bunch of awesome pictures that don't need to be edited because she is just that good.  I'm going to share some of them and tell you about what you can't see in the pictures that made it all fun!

I love the background.
Jason wanted to do pictures at my parent's new place.
Behind us is where our future home will be.  

I love the sun on Model C's hair.
The shadows are not great, but the pole is fun.
I also love the scarf that is hiding the lip gloss stain
she got five minutes before we walked out the door!

Bonnie liked the light and the walls inside this dilapidated old shed.
First, I'm not sure how it is still standing.
Second, Jason went in first to make sure there were no slithery critters.
Third, the bench we are sitting on sank an inch into the sand when we sat down.
And there is also a bunch of old cow poo under our feet!

Bonnie got a little distracted by this butterfly, but isn't it pretty?
She just couldn't help herself.
I love it when she can't help herself like this.  

Right here we are under a really pretty tree with good lighting,
but we are standing in poison ivy
and there are bees all over those flowers!

Yes, this is one of those fun extras of us
goofy around between real pictures.

I'm not sure another photographer could capture the girls like this.
This is who they are and they love their Aunt Bonnie!

My girls are so pretty!
This is outside the shed that is falling down.  

And here is how they really feel.

I love the old tin, barn wood, and green vines.
There is some discussion about whether or not the vines are poisonous.  

Here are a few other things you can't see and would never guess.  Model C is wearing hand-me-down jeans and boots from Bonnie's daughter.  Model T is so skinny that her camo pants are starting to get high-water.  Jason went hunting that morning and then was weed-eating around our portion of the property.  He smelled a little funny.  We picked our outfits to coordinate with him!  I'm wearing a hand-me-down shirt too.  Finally, my lovely necklace broke that afternoon after the photo shoot.  I still can't get the stain out of Model C's shirt either.  

Special Note: None of these photos have been edited whatsoever.  If you need family pictures for the holidays, I'll be thrilled to get you in contact with Bonnie!  

How do you remember someone? (updated)

Borrowed from Darlene.  

Aunt Pat on the left with some cousins.

 This is my Aunt Patricia Janell Avants.  I have to say her full name because I share that middle name.  Her name is special to me because my mom gave me her sister's name.

My mom has some interesting stories about growing up with Pat which I don't know that I have the right to share. Just imagine what a sister might say.  I have a sister.  Growing up, we didn't always like each other.  I love her to pieces now.  You know how siblings are: I can mess with my sister, but you better not!  At the end, Mom said she would miss her best friend.  That's ok to miss someone.  I hope Mom misses Pat for a long time because I'm not ready to miss my mom.  They can play catch up later.

I remember a few times visiting her as I was growing up.  She had two sons, my only first cousins.  I remember that she had a big peninsula in the kitchen. At least it seemed big to me when I was little.  She had a shower stall in the bathroom which I thought was cool because my parents' house was different.  She always told us that the secret to her cookies was that she mixed the dough with her feet while sitting on the kitchen counter.  I was never sure about whether or not I should believe that.  She also had a chow dog named Trouble.  And she loved my uncle.

More than these memories from childhood, I have my memories from my adult life.  I moved four hours away from home when I was about 26 so I could attend the seminary.  My aunt and uncle opened their home to me and my fiance every other weekend because I refused to allow Jason to stay in my apartment until we were married. Therefore, when Jason drove up to visit me, he slept on Pat and Marvin's futon in the office while I slept on the couch in the living room.  We did that for six months on weekends before we got married.

It is honestly difficult to think of Pat without thinking of Marvin.  In all their years of marriage, they maybe spent two nights apart.  I think they got married at 16 and 17, or maybe 17 and 18.  They were young and high school sweethearts.  About two years ago, my Uncle Marvin went to be with the Lord.  I told my kids that he moved to Heaven.  Last week, Aunt Pat's earthly body gave up, and her spirit moved to Heaven also.  Those two years were the longest that they have ever been apart.

Over the past week, I've been watching and participating in the facebook conversations about Pat.  I am overwhelmed with the need to clear up a few inaccuracies.

This facebook post is the first and most important thing I need to clear up.  This post was left on my cousin's facebook page by a very sweet, well-meaning person who was just trying to find something right to say in a difficult time for our family.  I really do appreciate sweet people.  However, the truth of the matter needs to be clear.  The only test Aunt Pat passed to get into Heaven was selecting the correct answer on a multiple choice test with two choices: A) Jesus or B)not Jesus.  She picked Jesus.  Otherwise, no one is good enough on his own to get into Heaven.  Romans 3:23 tells us that everyone has sin.  Romans 6:23 says the score for sin is death.  Ephesians 2:8-9 says our good works can't save us.  Nothing good in my aunt's life could get her into Heaven except the choice to have a relationship with Christ.

In order to pick Jesus, Romans 10:9 - 10 says that we must confess with our mouth and believe in our heart that Jesus is Lord.  Matthew 7:21 says we have to follow God's will.  Then, when we are following God's will, we will have abundant life according to John 10:10 and ever lasting life according to John 3:16 and Romans 6:23.  Hold on!  Here is the second thing that I need to clear up: Pat has ever lasting life.  That means that she is not a past tense person!  She still exists.  This means that we do not have to speak of her in the past tense.  I cannot say, "My aunt was a great person."  I can't say, "I loved my aunt."  No!  I can say, "My aunt is and she still is in Christ!"  This is a strange concept to consider because we are conditioned to speak of the earthly dead in the past tense.  Her body is past tense for sure.  Her spirit lives on in eternal life.

This is not good bye forever, but rather this is a, "See you later alligator."

At Grandpa J's house.